P.G Warning

This one comes with a P.G. warning!

When you enter parenthood, you have no idea of what is ahead of you.  I’m not just talking about the emotional roller coaster you experience as your children grow from babies into young children, or even the daily challenges you face when it comes to lack of sleep and juggling a million things up in the air.  I’m talking about the side of it that no one prepares you for; the disgusting bodily functions of a young child.

This week’s piece comes with a warning.  I suppose it would be a PG.  Literally, Parental Guidance.  Or Potential of Goo.  Or Poo & Grossness.

Do not read on if you are squirmish and/or are thinking about having a baby.

Or do, because it would give you a heads up on a few things that people failed to tell me before became a mummy!

I remember back to when Lylah was around 14 months old.

One evening, at around 6:15, I watched as my beautiful, angelic faced, sweetheart of a daughter, squatted on her chubby little legs whilst fully naked in the bath, and squeezed out around 5 gobstopper sized balls of poo.  Into the bath water.  I then proceeded to watch my husband scoop each little ball out with his bare hands, scrabbling after them as they floated around the bath and Lylah’s bum, trying to escape his grasp.

That was the first time Lylah pooed in the bath, and it was hilarious!  I thought the whole thing was very funny, as did Chris, and we chuckled as we continued to bathe her and commented on how comical this little episode was.  Lylah looked rather pleased with herself and squealed with delight as the floaters (actually, they started to sink a bit) were extracted, and she splashed around with her bath toys.  We were both just so relieved that it was a rather solid form of poo, as opposed to some of her other nappy delights.

No one warns you about these moments.  No one tells you just how much poo and puke and saliva and goo and food that you are continuously up to your eyes in.

Your baby enters this world in a state of gooey delight, covered in blood and other stuff (ewww), and is quickly dried off with a blanket and given to you to cuddle, kiss and caress.  Which of course you do, because this is your baby, your own flesh and blood, and so it doesn’t matter how icky and sticky they are, you just don’t care about that stuff anymore.

In their first few weeks, to give them their credit, they do live up to the cute, sweet smelling stereotype that newborns have become famous for.  All of their new clothes smell of fresh linen after you’ve spent hours getting them all prepared in the last few weeks of maternity leave, the nursery is spotless, and there isn’t a yellow coloured poo stain in sight!  Oh how that changes.

Also, the content of adult conversation is taken to a whole different level. As new parents, there is a new, untouched layer of dialogue, where it is suddenly okay to talk about colours/textures/contents of poo, the pattern of today’s nappy changes and the ever-changing milk production of your boobs.  And, in a ground-breaking revelation to you all (I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this) my husband and I have been known to snap a picture of said nappy contents, and send it to each other, along with a comment like “third one of the morning, that was the big dinner she ate last night!”  Yes, we are those parents now, the ones who take delight in discussing their children’s toilet habits with each other/other people/anyone who will listen.

We have had too many disgusting baby poo/goo/puke/food incidents to write about them all, but here are a few of my favourites:

1 Projectile Poo (PP) – Lylah was amazing at these.  One lift of her legs during a nappy change and she took the opportunity to point and shoot, spraying anything in it’s line of fire with a mustardy coloured, milk infused shot of runny poo.  The best one was when my husband and I were once changing her nappy together.  It was almost like she wanted to put on a bit of a show for us, so she took it to the next level.  She aimed for the wall, and she got the bullseye!  Thank goodness for wipe over wallpaper and paint – it was quickly removed with no stain in sight, thank goodness!  We had a number of these incidents, and they normally resulted in either of us being covered in the stuff, or it would lead to another of her baby vests becoming victim of another PP episode.  Vanish became my new best friend, but sometimes, when the PP was just too much for me to handle, the vests just went to baby vest heaven, along with the other victims of PP attacks, including baby grows, trousers and tights.  Sad face.

2 Va Va Vom – Vomit/sick/puke/”spit up”.  Always gross, always smelly, and ALWAYS ON ME.  Lylah was a sicky baby.  She puked a lot.  In the early days (first six months or so) I was continually covered in baby sick, constantly covered in muslin cloths, and probably smelled pretty horrible all of the time.  It got to the point where I would leave the house knowingly covered in baby sick.  If it were pointed out by anyone I would laugh and say, “oops, I didn’t realise that was there!”  But I did realise, of course I knew, and the reason I didn’t get changed is because it would just have happened again, and again, and again.

3 Dribble – this one isn’t so bad.  Babies dribble…  It’s the dribbling on mummy’s face that is a bit grosser, and giving mummy kisses and dribbling on her mouth, and dribbling on her new shirt, and dribbling on anything and everything that they can get their squidgy little hands on!  As a mother, you get used to this.  You eat their saliva covered left over biscuit, because it doesn’t matter to you – they came out of you for goodness sake!  I used to laugh at Chris because he would never eat from Lylah’s spoon if it had her baby goo on it.  That has changed now, he’s got used to it, and he rightly states, “you can never see food go to waste”, and so polishing off her Weetabix in the mornings now isn’t a problem for him!

4 Food – Weaning is an amazing time.  You get excited about buying the necessary bits and bobs, you make up some purees, you give them some finger foods.  The natural thing is to eat when you’re hungry, so you imagine that your little munchkin will polish up whatever you put in front of them, leaving no trace in sight.  No no no.  This is the MESSIEST time.  Lylah’s high chair is constantly covered, I’m always finding food in places that I haven’t even given it to her, and once again, mummy’s clothes fall victim to the baby shot-put tryouts.

So new parents…enjoy the extremely short spell when your babies smell of babies, and the rare occasions that they are asleep, clean and dry all at the same time, because mostly, babies are smelly, messy and overall pretty gross!

For more posts, please visit my blog at jugglehood.wordpress.com, follow me on facebook.com/Jugglehood, and follow me on Twitter @JugglehoodBlog

Birthday Party Madness!

As featured in the Western Gazette 15th June 2017…

My youngest has just turned two, and to celebrate we threw him a nice little birthday party.  That was birthday party number 4 since I’ve had 2 children.  I mean the big type of party that involves lots of party food, a big cake, and all the added extras.  They seem to get bigger and more extravagant as the child gets older, and they cost the earth, but its all worth it to see their happy little faces.  That’s if they actually enjoy it.

As Lylah was about to turn two, a friend and i decided to have a joint party for our girls. My friend had already been extremely organised, and had ordered napkins, balloons etc all in the desired theme of Minnie Mouse for our Minnie crazy little beauties.

Looking at everything you can order for a birthday party can be overwhelming, and it all starts to add up rather quickly, and at 2 years of age, they just want to run around, eat a few cocktail sausages and stuff their face with cake! Mum was geared up to make the Minnie Mouse cakes, and we were going to dress our girls in Minnie inspired outfits for their big day.

Whilst having a peruse around the online pages of Amazon and eBay, I came across some Minnie and Mickey costumes. Not just the basic, plastic masked fancy dress type get ups, but full on, Disneyland style, mascot outfits, with the massive heads! Brilliant! What better thing to add to a Minnie themed party than the real (ish) thing appearing from behind some curtains and surprising our little ones. Of course they would be delighted, all smiles and cuddles for Minnie, and amazed to have met their favourite Disney character in ‘real life’!

We were both up for the idea, so I proceeded to find the best priced mascot on the internet. Unfortunately, the reasonably priced ones to buy would all have to travel from China and wouldn’t make it to us in time for the party. I then found some that you could hire. The faces weren’t quite as good as the China ones, but they were still pretty fab looking, and compared to some of the scary attempts at Disney mascots I’d already come across, these were looking like a winner. Seriously, whoever designs some of these things really don’t have the children in mind when doing so! I ordered the hire of Minnie, and shortly after, received an email from the supplier, who convinced me to take Mickey as well (I’m a sales person’s dream!)

The two enormous heads and their costumes arrived in the post a couple of days before the party. As we were having lots of work done on the house at the time, there was no where to store them, and it wasn’t long before Miss Lylah nosey pants had dug them out. I thought perhaps this was actually a good idea, it would get her used to them. Someone had already asked me wouldn’t she find the mascots scary (Lylah had cried at every Father Christmas she had seen so far in her life), but as she had quite a nice meet and greet with Peppa and George earlier in the year, I was pretty confident about this one. She cuddled those Minnie and Mickey heads all the time, threw them around, played with them, tried to put them on. This, I thought, was the best idea I’d had in a long time – the mascots were going to be a winner! I dragged my sister, a natural entertainer who loves the spotlight, in to perform as Minnie, and managed to persuade her husband to be Mickey! I told them it was their duty as Godparents to do things like this for Lylah.

The morning of the party, I stuck the heads and costumes in the car and took them to the hall. Lylah wasn’t amused by this, but we told her that she would see them at her party later, which kept her happy for while. So, a few hours later, the party is well under way, Lylah has had a good nap so isn’t to grumpy. All the kids are running around and playing like mad things, getting stuck into the food and having a great time.

We took to the mic to announce the arrival of two very special guests! My lovely assistants were behind a curtain, getting into their costumes, blinded by the misplaced eye holes, and off balance from the size of the heads. They made their grand entrance…Lylah was in my arms, I was proudly holding the birthday girl, excitedly anticipating her reaction. I looked at her face, exclaiming, “Look Lylah, it’s Minnie and Mickey”, eagerly awaiting her delighted expression, expecting her to struggle out of my arms in a race to run to them. But no. The grip to me got far tighter. Her face dropped and her lips quivered, and she let out a howl of upset and poured frightened tears. Her now bright purple face lit up with pure fear as Minnie and Mickey entertained the birthday crowd, and my heart sank. The next five minutes of trying to calm Lylah into at least looking in their direction didn’t work, so my husband and I resorted to taking her behind the curtain and explaining who the mascots in front of her actually were. My sister came back with us, head still in tact, which only frightened her more, as Lylah seemed convinced Minnie was going to come back behind the curtain and eat us all, and when she removed the head, Lylah’s screams grew even more hysterical, as if she couldn’t make out what weird decapitation had just occurred in front of her young and innocent eyes.

Meanwhile, the other birthday girl was loving every second, and gave Minnie and Mickey lots of hugs. Most of the other kids were fine, some tentative, some loving it, but none screaming like birthday girl Lylah! We gave up trying to convince her that these two monsters in front of her were actually the loveable Disney characters that she plays with every day, reads about, and watches on the TV.

Once my sister and her husband emerged as their true selves, Lylah calmed down and the party continued as it was before. She enjoyed some singing from her aunty, and loved the birthday cakes, as well as picking at the icing from the top when no one was looking.

We got home that night, and I brought in the Minnie and Mickey heads, diverting Lylah in an attempt to avoid upsetting her again. But no, she spotted them. This time however, instead of screaming the place down, she proceeded to play with and hug them. So, she likes the mascots in head only form, but not in full motion, human body like form.

The lesson learned from this? Don’t force your child to like something. Be prepared that anything will scare them. Avoid Minnie and Mickey mascots even though your toddler is obsessed with them on a normal daily basis. But always try to bring a smile to your children’s faces, even if you fail, and never stop trying to make their dreams come true.

Dream Big Little Ones

I remember when Lylah was much littler.  I was juggling work and being a mummy and something struck me one morning during my commute to work.

I heard a song that I hadn’t heard since I was about 13.  The song was Alicia’s Attic, “I Am, I Feel”, and it was released in 1996, so I was exactly right, I would have just become a teenager.  As it kicked in, my stomach did a flip. There I was, a 30-year old mother driving to work on a normal Tuesday morning, suddenly filled with the urge to sing at the top of my voice and pretend I was in the music video.

That song was massively overplayed in my bedroom at 13 years old.  It could have been any song from this time in my life that would have brought me back to long since forgotten moments of my childhood and teenage years.  It made my stomach churn with a nervous recollection of trying to discover my identity, as well as my independence.  It was a time of discovering boys and developing crushes, and realising that one day, I would be living a life as an adult, and what would that mean for me? As I continued my drive, I was overcome with such emotion that I felt my eyes filling up.  Not that I was sad.  It’s just that when I heard that song, it made me remember a time when I used to dream.  I used to dream I would be a performer, moodily singing my way through an MTV music video and touring the world.  That was a time when anything was a possibility.  Growing up I was always lucky enough to have supportive parents, who gave me the opportunity to do or try anything I wanted, and so an emerging talent in ballet meant I dreamed of becoming a ballet coach (I never had the frame to become a ballerina like Drina).  Then piano lessons meant that one day I could write songs and become a star.  My sister and I used to spend hours in our playroom, making up songs and entertaining mum and dad (and embarrassingly, all of their friends at every dinner party they ever had!).

As you grow older, your dreams become more realistic, although the world is still your oyster.  I did my exams, got good grades, went to college, all the while imagining what my life would be when I was ‘grown up’.  Little girls dream all day, they daydream, they plan their wedding days, they imagine how their life is going to pan out, if they would marry, have children, be famous…

I was 30 and a relatively new mother.  It was the start of a time of unknown for me.  For the last couple of years since I’ve had both children, I’ve become less working mum, more stay-at-home mum, juggling a part-time job and other small business ventures.  It has brought with it a time of wondering if I have fulfilled my childhood dreams, the many things I thought I was going to do and achieve.  Having children is amazing in so many ways, but when you become a mother, it’s sometimes hard to see beyond it and find moments where you remember the person you were before.  While you’re filled with joy as the dreams of your own little family are coming true and growing, your other dreams stop for a moment and take a back seat while you are the person your children need you to be.

Many of my friends are in their ‘turning 30’ moments.  I smile as I see ‘lists of things to do by the time I’m 30’ posts on Facebook, and various party’s being planned.  For many women, entry into their thirties is a time by which they feel they ought to have proved themselves.  Established their presence in the world in a positive way.  We all have different goals in life, and while I always wanted to be a mummy, I also wanted to achieve great things and be known for something.  My nearest and dearest remind me that I have achieved a great deal, what with my career and my family, but part of me is still that little girl, dreaming big, certain that my future holds something else beyond what I currently do.  Because I believe you should never stop dreaming.  And I will always make sure that my children dream, and dream big.

Becoming a mother has fulfilled a part of me that I never knew existed.  I knew I wanted children, but having children to share everything with has made everything just right.  That doesn’t mean however that now I stop.  I want my children to watch me as they grow, and learn that in life, you can achieve anything.

When I’m watching them play, explore, learn, during every moment that I watch their little hands discover something brand new and exciting, I wonder if they’ve already started dreaming?  Do their dreams now consist of wanting a certain toy to play with tomorrow, that they’ll see daddy before bed or that we go swimming?  Their dreams will grow, and I want them to believe that they can become whatever they want in life.

Whenever they do anything new and brilliant, I think of all of the opportunities that lie ahead for them.My children will become me; a young girl, 17 years ago, sitting in her bedroom and dreaming big dreams.  And I will be there every step of the way to support them in their own.

Welcome to Jugglehood

Welcome to Jugglehood!

When I was asked whether I’d like my parenting blog to be featured as a weekly column in the local press, a wave of excitement came over me! Me? I thought. Me? Boring old mum of two who’s been recording random thoughts about parenting over the past few years?

I suddenly felt like Carrie from Sex and the City! But let’s face it, it’s not going to be as juicy as that. It’ll be more potty training and toddler tantrums than talk of hot date nights and raucous girly nights out! Think thirty-something mum in Somerset, up to her eyes in nappies, washing, drool and food, rather than a glamorous singleton mingling in Manhattan!

Nonetheless, I am excited to be sharing my Blog with the local newpaper! I started writing Jugglehood when my little girl, Lylah, now 4, was around 10 months old. It started off being about how I was a working mum, juggling life, a job, children, play dates… you get the picture. As my family has grown and life has evolved, I now try and capture those moments you never want to forget. You know, the ones where the toddler has pooed in the bath, been sick on an aeroplane or thrown yet another wobbly over me picking the wrong pyjamas.

Why did I start to write a blog?  Especially one about being a mum…

You need only scroll down any new mum’s Facebook feed to see shared links to various blogs, forums, discussions and articles relating to this whole new chapter in their lives.
I knew one thing and that was that somehow, amidst my crazy busy working and being a mummy week, I had to do something to be a bit more creative.  Be it part New Year’s resolution and part an actual need to express myself, it was something I must do.  I thought long and hard about what my blog would represent, and I kept coming back to one thing – the one thing that I am experiencing every single day, and that’s being a mum . So, why try and be something I’m not?  I’m good at being a mum, and everyday, my children do something that is new and funny, so they naturally feed me with regular inspiration!

Now to the title – I wanted something different, not the same old mum blog clichés, and I could only think of one word – juggle.  Because that is all I do, juggle!  I juggle my time as a mummy/a wife/a career woman, with work commitments, family time, social events and play dates.  I also juggle shopping bags and changing bags, colourful toys with lunch trays, my laptop bag and the five bags that have to come anywhere with us! It’s a never ending, circus themed, juggling act in my house!
So roll up, roll up and welcome to my life!

I like to think of myself and my husband as the jugglers, the people in the household managing multiple elements, each like a juggling ball filled with endless to-do lists and tasks to complete, errands to run and places to be.

The children are the ringleaders. I can’t count the number of times I said when I was pregnant with Lylah, “she’ll fit into our lives, we won’t need to change things that much!”  How naive was I?  our children dictate everything we do, and do you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.  My every decision is now based around our children and their needs, and they come before everything else.

You can find me on Facebook at Facebook.com/Jugglehood or Follow me on Twitter @JugglehoodBlog

Lidl Vs Aldi & Pea Crisps.

The fact I am even writing about this makes me chuckle.  That’s why I am writing about it though.  I was driving home from my first shop in our brand spanking new local Aldi and all I could think about was a Facebook status I could post to describe my experience. But it wouldn’t suffice, so a blog post it is.

In our house, we love Lidl.  I think over the years, it has really improved, and I’m astounded week after week when I get a trolley full of lovely grub for very little.  I can stick to a budget there, and I know what I’m getting.  Chris loves the wines, we get a bit excited when we get the magazine and see what next week’s ‘theme’ is, and we now don’t need to shop anywhere else.  Sad I know, but we are approaching middle age.

However, today I decided to give our new Aldi a shot – just to see.  It would be on our way home from our day out so it made sense.

Fast forward a few hours and I was driving home, feeling flat after my shopping experience, wishing I could return it all and go to Lidl.  Then it hit me – 10 years ago, even 5 years ago, I wouldn’t even be thinking about this!  What have I become that this weekly shop has me comparing notes and regretting my purchasing decisions!

I was weirdly excited about going to Aldi.  We’d had a great day out, and popping in on the way back was the last thing we were doing before heading home.  There has been a lot of talk locally about it, a grand opening, and friends who have shopped there, so I had high hopes.  I talked it up to Lylah, building up her excitement at the chance of seeing a brand new supermarket!  She was also weirdly excited, and even exclaimed to Malachy  as we arrived “Look Baba, we’re at Aldi!”, like it was some local substitute for Peppa Pig World.

I was especially excited about the ‘pea crisp’ snacks that a friend of mine had found in there.  Malachy seemed to like them, so happy days, a new snack, only available at Aldi, it will all be worth it just for that!

It didn’t start well.  I didn’t have a coin for the trolleys (before you wonder, my handy trolley coin is on my other set of keys), so I had to go into the shop, ask for one at the busy tills, go back through the exit and follow the checkout girl who had to leave her busy till to help me.

The trolley seemed small compared to my usual large Lidl one, but that aside, I wandered down the first aisle.

I never realised how much of a creature of habit I’ve become.  Every week, I do a very similar shop to the week before, bar the occasional exception, it normally comes to around the same price, and it’s all in a place I know around the store.  Walking down the first aidle made me feel slightly uneasy, like I was lost on a weird budget food planet I’d never visited before, and I didn’t know where to begin.  The 6 selected vegetables on at 29p each settled me though – yes, I thought, this will be worth it.  Chris phoned me at this point, and I told Lylah to tell him where we were like it was some big reveal.  She was all excited telling him, but while she was revealing our exciting location, I was having a minor meltdown at the price of mushrooms compared to Lidl.  I spoke with Chris on the phone and explained my dilemma…should I buy the same size pack as I always do at nearly 30p more?  I’ve saved so much on the 29p veg selection, I assured myself, I can let this one slide.  At which point, I saw a bigger, better value pack, and it felt okay again.  Phew.

I wandered round the store, but nothing seemed to flow.  Nothing was where it should be, and I nearly decided to leave, but with half a trolley of fruit and veg, I decided, that even if only for a week, this week we’d shop at Aldi.  Then I came across a free-from and health food section, and they had Quinoa!  Not just one type, but two types!  Aldi was slowly getting one up on Lidl – they only have Quinoa sporadically!

I carried on and got my usual bits, filled the trolley, but without with a few things that I can only get at Lidl, but honestly I didn’t enjoy it.  I felt like i was just going through the motions, but not really taking it all in!

Then I realised I hadn’t seen the pea snacks!  I can’t leave without the pea snacks!  That’s essentially why I have cheated on Lidl in the first place!  They weren’t in the crisps section, so I travelled back to the health food section.  There they were, so I grabbed both flavours and felt immediately happier.

I loaded up the till belt with my purchases, but noticed a few things I always buy were missing.  I was disorientated here, I’m missing out essential items like honey and butter.  This wouldn’t have happened at Lidl.  But Lidl don’t have pea snacks…

In the car, I mused over our new local Aldi.  I’m not concerned for the future of our fab Lidl store and it’s amazing Gin and Deluxe steaks.  My shop looks similar to usual, but without that Lidl sparkle!

Gone are the days I treat myself to weekly shopping in Sainsburys.  Those trips are only reserved for special occasions.  And Waitrose is only for free coffee and posh picnics.  So I’m left with comparing Aldi to Lidl.  I’m 33, a mum of two, and have hit a stage in my life where that’s okay to do.  That excites me, it makes me tick now, and that’s okay!

I wasn’t convinced by Aldi…not sure Lylah agrees though.  When I asked her tonight at bedtime what she enjoyed about today after seeing lots of friends and visiting an old palace, she said, wait for it…”going to Aldi”.

Next week, I will be back to my usual routine, perusing Lidl for anything new in the Deluxe range and hitting the aisles like a pro.  All they need now is pea crisps.

 

 

My West End Dreams

Growing up, my sister and I loved the theatre.  We watched musicals at home for hours on end, knew all the songs and dances, and we were very fortunate to have parents who took us on theatre and cinema trips from a young age.  I have these same ambitions for my own family, but I didn’t realise that along with anything else, a child has to learn to about these new experiences, and they can actually be big and daunting.

I’ve think I’ve been fairly ambitious with my two children and taking them to various cinema and theatre trips.  I remember taking Lylah when she was about 2 1/2 for the first time.  She was a real fidgeter, still is, and I did wonder whether she would still for nearly 2 hours in a really big dark room with a massive screen (the screen looks big to us, imagine it through the eyes of a 2 year old).

We’d not long had Malachy, but Chris and I wanted to take her as a treat for being a good girl at pre school and to celebrate the end of term.  The film was the Minions movie, and the bribe for sitting still for long amounts of time was plentiful snacks and cinema ice cream.  It worked for the most part, and I remember that trip being fairly successful, a good sign for cinema trips to come!

I still wasn’t convinced by theatre though.  There is something pretty scary about the theatre.  You go in, the lights are on, you’re chatting away and looking at the programme, and suddenly you’re in darkness and the orchestra starts to rumble!  Our first trip to the theatre was with a friend and her also 2 year old.  The girls (and mums) were excited to be seeing Chris & Pui live on stage!  Lylah has always been a little bit wary of things in general.  She likes to know situations and people well before she is fully relaxed, and to be honest is a trait that I hope sticks with her.  However, in a theatre situation, when your heavily pregnant mummy is pushing through the laps of other attendees, telling you there us absolutely nothing to worry about while you’re screaming and crying, this trait appears to be more of a nuisance.  Children at that age still don’t have the knowledge to know what to be afraid of and what is absolutely fine.  Can we blame them?  We teach them to be wary of strangers, and yet in a theatre situation, plonk them next to someone they don’t know in the dark.  After sitting like a statue, staring at the stage for the entire first half, I wasn’t sure whether she was enjoying it, but she assured me she was.  Her face said otherwise!

I left the next theatre trip to about a year later, and this time the show was Mister Maker!  This one was a resounding success!  Lylah was in love with Mister Maker at the time, and his arty party stage show was lively, colourful, and engaged the children.  Maybe she’s turned a corner I thought?

I next took her to see a production of The Little Mermaid.  Being Lylah’s absolute favourite film, and as she has an obsession with all things mermaid, I was convinced this would be a success.  She brought her mermaid with her, sat like a big girl next to me and enjoyed the opening scenes.  When Ursula appeared however, it all changed.  She wasn’t just frightened, where a cuddle from mummy until Ursula exited stage right would do, she screamed and we had to leave the auditorium.  She got herself in such a state.  She wanted to go home.  While I absolutely don’t want her to be scared or upset, I also want to try and show her that it would be okay, as I knew she’d absolutely love the rest of the show, and she’d miss out on so many fun outings like this if it became a phobia.   She was won over by some gentle words, lots of cuddles and a tub of ice cream, and as we were stood near the door of the theatre, we could hear Ariel starting to sing her famous song.  That was enough to get Lylah back inside, and by the end of the show, Ursula was one of her favourite characters!

When Malachy was about 18 months, Chris and I took both of them to see Trolls.  I wouldn’t normally subject other cinema goers to a toddler in the aisles, but it was a weekday showing and it was practically empty.  There was two of us to manage them as well; I certainly wouldn’t have attempted it on my own!  All was going swimmingly until Malachy started shouting “poo poo” at the top of his voice.  I took him to the baby change and proceed to change his nappy, but nothing was inside.  He was squirming and screaming, obviously trying to shift something,  For the rest of the time, he was a very unhappy little sausage, and as it was nearly finished, we put up with it for a few minutes, then I took him out.  He screamed all the way home and it turned out he was extremely constipated – what timing!

I haven’t considered taking Malachy again, but might attempt the new Peppa Pig cinema hour – although whoever thought another hour of Peppa Pig was a good idea has obviously not watched 1200 of them in a row.

So, last night, I took Lylah to Peter Pan.  She’s older now, I thought, if she’s frightened I can reason with her.  I never mentioned Captain Hook.   She was so excited, we were meeting friends, and she knew one of her little friends was going to be in the show.

Since the Little Mermaid experience, Lylah has been in a ballet show herself, so I thought we were well past any worries.  In the car, she started listing the characters.  “Oh no’ I thought!  Then she says “Is Captain Hook going to be in the show?”  I replied calmly and reassuringly “Yes, he’s in the story isn’t he?  But he’s nothing to worry about, they are all pretend”  Not looking too convinced, Lylah was noticeably worried from that point on.  She was obviously trying to be brave bless her, and sat next to me and watched the first few scenes in silence.  I braced myself when Captain Hook appeared, promptly handed Lylah a sweet and took a sigh of relief when all we had was a bit of a squirm and an extra squeeze of my hand.  Lylah wouldn’t clap before that, but as soon as that moment was out of the way, she clapped and cheered through the rest of the show.  My dreams of our West End theatre trips together aren’t shattered!  She likes going to the theatre!  It takes a little perseverance and faith that as children grown, they learn to know their senses and can differentiate between reality and play.  Let’s just hope Malachy follows suit!

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This race is for us…

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In October last year, I could barely run 10 mins on the treadmill.  I was unfit, lazy, and wanted to be better.  Going to the gym regularly and keeping it up made me excited to be getting fitter, and changed my attitude towards exercise.  It makes me feel good, healthier, happier and I’m proud of myself and my mini achievements so far.

Entering 2017, I said I wanted to set myself some challenges this year, so I decided to run a race.  I googled what there was around the 5/10k mark in the area around summer time, and I was pleased to see there is a 10k close by that I can take part in.  That’s it, I thought, that’s the race I’ll do.  I roped in my sister to join me, and we pencilled it in, at the back of our minds!

More recently, we have gathered up a dream team of girls, all of different running and fitness abilities, to join us in our race.  Our common goal?  To run this race to raise some money for Cancer Research UK.

Cancer has been very close to home for my family recently.  A couple of years back, my beautiful mother-in-law was diagnosed with Lymphoma.  For 6 months of last year, she underwent rigorous treatment for both the cancer via Chemotherapy, and also went through treatment for her autoimmune disease, Sjogren’s Disease.  She has come out the other side of it, fit and well for the most part, but has suffered with infections and hospital stays as a result of her weak immune system.  We don’t know when she might next have to face treatment, hopefully not for a long time, but it is so wonderful to know that because of that treatment last year, which somebody researched and spent time developing, she is with us alive and well today.  Maura, this run is for you.

Also, the past 12 months has seen my elderly Nonno suffer with prostate cancer, which has spread to his bones.  He has been in a hospice, and is now in a nursing home, fighting on and even seeing in his 90th birthday recently.  My Nonna, his wife of 65 years, suffers from dementia, and their whole lives have been turned upside down.  Nonno & Nonna, this run is for you.

10 years ago, my husband’s Aunt Paula died after a short battle with cancer.  She was taken too suddenly at such a young age, because of this disease.  Paula and all the Boyd family, this run is for you.

Also, his Aunt Anne has suffered with breast cancer in recent years, and with treatment, has come through it.  Anne, this race is for you.

One of my best friends has a dear friend Lucy, who at the young age of 33 has discovered she has cancer for the 4th time in her life.  We all admire how strong she has been in her life, adventurous in travelling the world and making the most of every opportunity presented to her.  She is doing her own amazing things for cancer research, and will be cheering us on at this 10k.  Lucy, this race is for you.

My mum has all too often seen cancer in her family.  She has lost aunties and her cousin, all too young and I am sad that I haven’t had a chance to get to know these amazing people.  Mum, this race is for you and our wonderful relatives gone too soon.

I have got to know a lovely lady, Franny, who I first met when she photographed Lylah when she was a baby.  We have family and friends in common, our girls do dance classes together and she has taken some amazing family photos with her talent and her camera that I will treasure forever.  She is battling cancer as a woman and a mother and everyday I admire her strength and positivity.  Franny, this race is for you.

This race is for everyone touched by cancer.  The ones who know people and see it from afar, the ones who are living it every day, the ones who have come close with scares themselves, and the ones who will get it in the future.  This race is for all of us.

Back to my running.  I had to set myself a goal for this race, and initially it was to complete it!  In my training I have achieved a 10k, so I know I can do it.  So I’m stepping it up a notch.  I ran 10k in 1 hour 6 mins on my first attempt.  I will be aiming to do it in under an hour on 18th June.  Apparently this is completely possible (!), so there it is.  I will run a 10k in under an hour.

Please support me in this race, and the wonderful work of Cancer Research UK, by donating (please see link below).  I will try my hardest and work hard to reach my time.  But if I don’t, please donate anyway,  this race is for US.

https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/annmaries-fundraising-page-16

Thank you x

running meme

 

Mummy Fitness

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This post is for every mum who wants to get fitter, lose weight, feel better about themselves, and have some time to themselves.

This morning, I got up with the kids at 7:30am, and by 8:15am I was in the gym, on the treadmill. I did 5km, my weights routine, 10 press-ups and stretched.   I introduce you to a newer version of me, one that likes to go to the gym now.

Before I start, I imagine a good number of you will have already groaned, or had some kind of thought about this being a chance for me to show off about my new hobby.  It is absolutely not.  Believe me, I’m not one of those.  I used to be you, in fact I still am you.  I used to groan if I saw someone post about the gym, scroll past and carry on devouring my chocolate bar.  In reality, I was jealous.  Jealous that someone could find the time, the energy, the money and the willpower to get themselves fitter and healthier.  This post is just a little insight to the start of my journey (uugghh I sound so clichéd), but if it helps to inspire any other mums, or anyone at all, to start on their own fitness journey, then happy days.

I’ll begin by saying I’m nowhere near where I want to be fitness or weight wise, and judging by some of the conversations I hear from very slim, fit looking people, we never will be.  However, I’m on the road to it,  I’m doing it every week, and I’m finally seeing some progress, which makes it all worthwhile.

Having children did things to my body that I’ve had to face and come to terms with over the last 4 years.  Stretchmarks, aching pelvis, fat in places that I never had fat before, more grey hair, mood swings, mummy rage, irritability, tiredness…just a few in a long list of ailments you suddenly encounter.  After Malachy I lost feeling in half of my right leg and toes for a few months post birth, and I could barely walk to begin with, but as with anything, time heals.

That’s point number 1: Allow yourself time.  Having a baby is traumatic for your body so you need to let it rest and recover.  I’ve heard that it takes the length of the pregnancy, post birth, for your body to get back to what is was before, so allow your body that time.  So hitting the gym at 6 weeks post natal isn’t always the best way to get rid of that baby belly.  Take small sensible steps, and eat well.  After Lylah, I didn’t worry about weight.  A lot came off straight away, and I walked everywhere during the summer of my maternity leave, which I think made the world of difference.  After Malachy however, I was more obsessed with it.  I wanted to lose weight quickly, so after the 6 week mark, I started slimming world (I was breast feeding so had to do this carefully so as not to affect my milk supply), and lost 2 stone pretty quickly.  I had stints at the gym between the children, but have never really stuck at it.  I went to the gym and saw a trainer at the same time as starting slimming world, and after 10 minutes on the treadmill, I could barely walk my pelvis was hurting so much.  Not advised!  Take it really easy, and re-introduce exercise into your diet gradually, doing stuff that works with the children.  Go for walks, run round the park, get lots of fresh air and dance around the kitchen.  Eat well and drink lots of water and the weight should fall off.  It won’t happen overnight, but you can exercise more later.  Enjoy the baby cuddles and rest your aching body.

In October last year, I realised that I really needed to get fitter and lose weight.  The weight had crept back on (yep, that 2 stone I lost at slimming world) and I was feeling really rubbish about myself.  My mood swings and temper were starting to get worse as well, and I blame a lot of that on tiredness and a bad diet.

I started back to the gym with a good friend and fellow mummy.  Her baby was only about 4 months old at the time, so she had to take it really easy.  When discussing how often we should go the the gym, we decided to commit to just 1 night a week, at a set time.

This leads me to point number 2: don’t over commit.  You’re a mum, you may or may not be working as well, you’re doing school runs, ballet classes, bath times, bed times, plus you’d quite like to actually see your family occasionally – when are you going to fit in gym sessions?  The chances are that if you start by committing to 4 sessions a week, you’ll fail.  But luckily, exercise is addictive, and it can become a habit fairly quickly.  It was manageable for us to do 1 session week in October.  Last week I did 4 sessions and a ballet class, and I would’ve done more if time allowed.  The key to fitting it all in is organisation. There is time in your day (probably when you’re sat watching TV when the kids are in bed), and if you organise work, childcare etc around your gym slots, and manage to do 1 or 2 a week, then you’re winning.  And believe me, when you want to do more, you’ll make time. Mu husband was off work today, and normally I’d enjoy the lie in and late breakfast, but instead I was on the way to the gym at 8am.

3: Find a workout buddy – things are so much more fun with friends, and this is especially true with exercise.  Our gym sessions are not only a good chance to exercise without the interruption of dirty nappies or a 4-year old wanting her princess dress put on again, but a lovely time for us to catch up, have a chat and clear our minds from the everyday clutter.  Saying that, we quite often talk about the children, but the point is, its our time to talk about whatever we wish.

The other thing I’ve found with keeping up the exercise is to find a little variety.  We always try to do a different exercise, or take advice from others at the gym, to keep our workouts varied.  I’ve also just done 2 sessions of adult ballet, which is amazing.  I came away and my calf muscles were shaking, and it was a completely different workout to my gym sessions.  So, point number 4:  find something that works for you, exercise that you enjoy, and mix it up.  Then you won’t get bored, and your body will feel the benefits of everything you’re trying.

I’ve liked talking to new people about exercise, mainly in the gym, and have taken tips and advice from a few different people about things I’m doing right/wrong.  The main thing I’ve taken away from this is to not worry about feeling stupid or doing something wrong – the important thing is you’re moving your body, and you can work on technique and more advanced exercises as you progress.  These people (Sarah, Mel, random gym man 1 and crazy fit gym man 2) have also made me realise its important to set yourself goals and targets.  Point 4:  try and improve.  Every session, try and do something more than you did last time.  This relates back to my point about variety, you’re trying something new, pushing your body that bit more, and improving your fitness as a result.  My goals for this year are to run 5k or 10k race, and to learn a ballet routine.

5: Motivation and Inspiration.  It is easy to feel inspired by someone or something, less so to get motivated by that same thing.  I’ve found that I get inspiration from lots of different places, my super fit Facebook mummy and non-mummy friends, my gym obsessed buddies, the Khloe Kardashian ‘Strong’ book, my sister doing a boot camp for a month, my little girl working hard in two dance classes every week.  There is so much to be inspired from, but you’ve got to turn it into motivation.  If you are seriously ready to get fitter and healthier, then the only person that can do that is YOU.  You can take help from others, be inspired by others, even say you’re doing it for others (I am doing this not only for me, but for my family), but your key motivation has to be that little voice inside you’re head egging you on, as opposed to keeping you down.

6 months into this new lifestyle, the one thing I’ve learned which is the thing I believe stops most people in their tracks early on, is to manage your expectations.  Point number 6: it won’t happen overnight.  Work hard, stay motivated, allow time to heal and then grow, enjoy it, get inspired and listen to the voice shouting “YOU CAN DO IT” and you’ll get there.  I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.  We all have little slip ups, a week can pass with no gym trips, but don’t let that stop you going for ever,  just get back on the bike.  I feel stronger, I can do things I couldn’t before, my moods have improved drastically and those endorphins feel good.  The best thing is I haven’t had to diet to lose weight.  I eat far more sensibly now because I don’t want to undo the hard work I do at the gym, but I allow myself treats and certainly don’t feel guilty about them anymore.

At soft play last week, I held my 2 1/2 stone son in my arms whilst bounding up a rope bridge without holding on.  I could feel my core working and my legs aching, but I could do it, and I climbed that soft play energetically 3 times, so my kids could go down the slides over and over again.  I can dance round the kitchen with them for 1/2 hour solid, and feel good rather than feel exhausted.  And it’s only going to get better.

Get up off the sofa, get outside, to the gym, to a class or on your bike.  Do it for your future,  do it for your family, but most of all, do it for you.

Booby Milk – The Final Chapter

Well, I’ve got to hand it to my boobs, they’ve done a pretty good job since they were first introduced to the mammoth task of breast feeding an actual human being almost 4 years ago.

I’ll never forget that time.  It is etched into my memory now, the overwhelming feeling of love, the bond, the feeling that I was so needed by my first-born.  At the same time I felt exhausted, like a cow, every last drop of energy being sucked from me, and mentally drained from the constant worry of whether I was doing it right.  My nipples were always sore from the round-the-clock feeding, I was making up tunes to the humming of the breast pump, I do actually think, in fact I know, looking back, that I was going a little crazy.

And now, with my second and most likely last baby, 17 months into his little life, he has finally opted for the bottle over me.  There isn’t much there now, and bless him, he knows it, and the hitting, biting (!) and constant climbing up and down means it isn’t much fun anymore.

It is so surreal to have to finally let go of that attachment.  He is growing up, I understand that, and he doesn’t want that from me any more.  But it makes me feel so sad.

When you start on this journey of becoming a mother, everything is so mind-blowing.  There is so much to learn, and you are always questioning yourself.  Breast-feeding was no different to all of the other new experiences.  It was hard work, tiring, painful…excruciating sometimes, nothing can prepare you for the amount of energy that is consumed being awake during the night, worrying, settling, feeding, settling, winding, settling, feeding, winding…you get the picture.

Even when Lylah was about 4 months old, and I settled into the feeding routine, there were constant problems that popped up.  And don’t even get me started about trying to get them to take a bottle!  Yet now, as if it is nothing, Malachy takes hold of a bottle and sups, smiling, happy that there is milk the other side of the teat.

With this comes something else though,  a small sense that I’m getting some independence back.  A chance for me to separate my body from my children’s.  This has happened gradually with Malachy.  With Lylah, we cut some feeds when I went back to work when she was around 10 months, and she was happy with a bit of boob and a bit of bottle.  With Malachy I have been so fortunate to be working far less, and therefore the feeding has continued for much longer.  Recently it has cut down to just morning and night, and the fact he happily drinks from a bottle or cup means I have some freedom back.  I speak to new mums who are desperate for a break, a night out, a drink with some friends or their partners, just a taste of freedom for one night in the chaos of it all, and I get it, I was there, needing that break, wanting that glass of wine.

The independence does mean one thing though – more nights off, more sleep, the ability to get more done – not that that’s what matters, but it does take the pressure off a little bit.

But this 4 years has gone in a flash, and it makes me want to cry.  What I would give to be back at the start of it all, embarking on the greatest journey of my life.  I was so excited by it all.  When we decided to have children and I fell pregnant with Lylah, everything was so new and I couldn’t wait for any of it.  This feeling comes over when you become a mum, that nothing will ever be the same, because you are a mummy now, you own a buggy, you make up bottles, breast feed, have a steriliser on the side in the kitchen.  You talk about babies, their poo, their eating habits, their sleep.  Oh the baby sleep talk!  This was my life, for a year or so, then Lylah got bigger, the mummy independence crept in, I even went on a hen do.  But in my head I know…I’m hopeful for number 2, the chance to do it all again, but this time without the stress.  Oh but there was still stress, but then that’s having multiple human beings living in your house all at one time isn’t it?!  With Malachy, I knew what I was doing.  I fed and fed and fed him…they normally lose weight at first, he piled it on.  He was in my arms constantly, my baby boy, needing me, and I was able to nurture him.  That feeling didn’t go.  As he grew, he frustrated me in other ways, but at the end of a stressful day, I was able to cradle him and connect with him in a way I don’t think you can understand until it happens to you.  That’s what I’m struggling to let go of.  His little face lighting up as I settle down on the sofa at 630.  All I have to say is ‘Mummy Milk’ and he will stop what he’s doing and be by my side.

Stopping breastfeeding once and for all, means the end of that new experience I was so excited for 4 years ago.  I know I have so much more to be excited about now, a whole future with my little sausages that I when I think about, I can barely breathe.  But the first chapter is done.  Booby milk is diminishing, and again, that makes me so sad I could cry.

Well, I did cry.

My boobs and me have been on quite a journey over the last few years, and I feel so blessed to have been able to experience it.  Here’s to your milky boobs and the miracle job they are capable of.

As a side note, I realise it has been 6 months since I last posted.  What can I say, but that I don’t have time for much anymore!  I have wanted to post so many times, and have so much to fill you in on, but haven’t put digits to keyboard.  But tonight, after boob snub, I thought what better way to get back to it, than to talk about my breasts!  Happy Saturday everyone x

Our Children and Their Technology

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I was talking to a man in the pharmacy this week about this exact subject.  Technology, and the fact that it makes the world so fast, and that our kids know nothing else.

I have had children in an age where everything we need is literally at our fingertips.

Music, photographs, groceries, any baby item we may need to purchase, the gym timetable (!), videos, the latest episode of Paw Patrol, or Peppa Pig on loop, all at the touch of a button or two on our phones.

Despite growing up without such luxuries, it is something that as an adult, I have become accustomed to.  I don’t really have to make a lot go effort to access any information I need, and I get frustrated if I can’t get it it quicker than the few seconds of load time my current iPhone operates at.

It goes without saying then, that my children will know no different.  They have only ever known me with a phone in my hand, tapping away sending messages, checking email, watching YouTube videos for some downtime, or checking Facebook.  They don’t know the old version of me, where I actually went to a record shop to purchase music.

Having children in this world has meant that there have been quite a few helpful shortcuts in parenting.  From even before you find out you are pregnant, there is no doubt that many women are on Google, checking when they should be ovulating via a number of online calculators, or checking out the symptoms of early pregnancy, even though I can’t imagine  that there are many of us that don’t already know what these are!  Then the moment arrives, you’re pregnant!  Cue the downloading of one of the many available pregnancy apps, which detail what stage you are at, how you should be feeling, what you should be eating and even what your little fig looks like at 13 weeks.

Then pass months of checking out every twinge you have on every pregnancy page you can find, downloading books, the Mothercare app, and shopping for your forthcoming arrival.

Then the baby arrives, and those little pieces of technology really come into their own.  There were nights where Lylah was screaming and screaming, and we didn’t know what to do.  Do you know what I can remember from those nights?  Chris hunched over a faint blue light on the edge of the bed, frantically Googling what to do with a 2 week old screaming baby who likely has colic.

The Mothercare app was a Godsend.  Lylah fell asleep instantly to the hairdryer noise, and that soon became our go-to solution.  Never mind singing lullabies, rocking her to sleep or anything else; we tapped the screen, let the hair dryer noise come out and watch her drift off to sleep.  I discovered YouTube on our Smart TV and played white noise that way as well, meaning naps in the living room in her chair whilst I was able to do stuff in the rest of the house.  It has come in handy the second time round as well, but with baby number 2 I found an app with an advanced feature.  It switches on as soon as baby cries, and fades out again!  Pure genius!

As Lylah has grown, her access to technology has only increased.  TV watching (no matter how much I said before children that it would be rare occurrence) allows me to get some housework done.  The smart TV means that I can access anything she wants on YouTube at any time.  Sky Plus means box sets and instant downloading.  If Lylah asks for something and I say sorry, it isn’t on at the moment, she says “but Mummy, just load it up!”

This terminology presented itself in normal conversation in the car yesterday.  We were on our way to the shops, and she asked me whether we could play a game (where we pretend we are Anna & Elsa) when we were in the car and going.  I said yes, but asked why we couldn’t play it while we were getting into the car?  She said it’s because the game hadn’t finished “loading up”!

The other day, we were playing a game of musical chairs.  She send she wanted to do the music, which was basically her singing a song.  She said “the music is coming on” and pretended she was holding a mobile phone, tapped the screen and said “bleep”.  My three year old thinks that music comes from a mobile phone!  Which, in her world, it does.

As parents, we can control and monitor our children’s access to technology.  Reading the above back to myself, it sounds like Lylah is constantly on some form of gadget, which actually isn’t the case.  But is she familiar and aware of it?  Yes, of course, because we live in 2016.

Yes, it would be good to slow down.  Yes, it would be great to have more patience and not rely on technology for everything; that’s down to the individual to control.  We need some balance, yes, between the world of everything being ‘right now’ on the other side of our phone screens, to playing outside in nature and forgetting what time it is.

Could I have brought children up without the helping hand of technology?  Well, yes, people did, and I would have had to.

Am I grateful for the white noise app?  YES! Yes  I am.