This morning I had the rare opportunity to enjoy a long soak in the bath. Chris was off work today, so after breakfast and the necessary potter around and clean up, I decided to take advantage of the small bracket of time I had spare before the food shop, to try out my recent purchase of magnesium flakes and de-fuzz my overgrown legs!
The idea of a bath is perfect. The door shut to the world, peace and quiet all around, the hot steaming water waiting for you to sink your tired and aching body into, and the chance, on this serene Sunday morning, for me to ponder upon the week just passed and plan for the week ahead. As well as a bit of body SOS of course. I imagined myself emerging in an hour’s time, glowing from head to toe and looking and feeling like a new woman thanks to the magnesium!
I had not long given all of the bath toys a really good clean, and had placed them in all their shining glory around every spare edge of the ceramic tub. I contemplated for a brief moment about taking them all off, so as to give me more space, but oh no, I decided that I, being as graceful as a swan, could immerse myself into the vat of water without knocking a single one of these rubbery bath play things off and into the bath with me. There was a small space left for my shampoo, conditioner, leave in hair treatment, body scrub, facial scrub, razor, shaving foam, and shower gel. Yes, I was going the whole hog, full relax and full pamper. What could spoil it?
I hadn’t yet popped my contact lens in for the day, so glasses in the bath it was (I’ll never forget the optician telling me this was the perfect opportunity to give them a quick clean!). The minute I slide down into the water, the glasses steam up, and I spend a few seconds wailing my hands around trying to feel where I am. I then reach for item number 1, the shampoo, which I instantly knock onto the floor. I sat up and looked down; it was just out of reach. I thought about calling for Chris, but he and the kids were busy outside, and me yelling his name at the top of my voice makes not for a relaxing mood. So I raised myself up into the chilly air, and leant over the bath to stretch for my shampoo, my glasses are steaming up repeatedly and therefore I can’t actually see, and I proceed to knock another few items off. This is why I should have taken a mere 35 seconds to remove the bath toys.
After gathering up the fallen bits, I settle back down, and hair wash, condition etc etc. The melodic tones and harmonies of a very chilled band were playing on the iPhone, and I feel like I should be more relaxed. But it’s hard to get to that place of zen when the entire cast of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is surrounding you. I had strategically moved the Ariel Mermaid styling head to the end of the bath, so I could relax my own tired head, only to realise then I had little or no room for my feet, as along with Malachy’s pirate boat, they pretty much had the monopoly of the hull on this ship.
Next thing, the door opens, and I half expect little children to come rushing in, which would bring with it their favourite game of knocking everything into the bath while mummy’s in it. But it was Chris. “Don’t worry love, I’m just going for a wee”. Thanks love, thanks for sharing, and thanks for not doing the other in this hot steamy bathroom while I am trying to RELAX!
When once again, left alone, small voices start to shout my name, and I reply swiftly (but loudly) “Mummy’s in the Bath!”. The voices trail off, and I hear Chris. All is well. I can begin the mammoth task of exfoliating and shaving my legs.
At this point, I realise that bath time isn’t relaxing. It isn’t all bubbles, candles and prosecco, and perhaps the small chance that your husband might join you. It’s a frantic period of time where you are trying to treat yourself to the basic right of being clean and hairless, in a bath that’s now geared up for your offspring. What makes matters worse, is that when we had our new bathroom fitted, we thought we were being super trendy by not having bath taps fitted, and instead having one system in the shower that runs the water for both the bath and shower. So safe for the kids, we thought. So easy to use, we said. So easy to clean, I exclaimed gleefully. I’m now lying here in lukewarm, soapy scuddy water, wishing I could top myself up with some fresh hot clean water from the tap. Serves me right for being so forward-thinking when it comes to bathroom trends.
After knocking a few more items off the side, and avoiding eye contact with Ariel whilst having an all-over wash, I jumped out to then rinse off and wash again in the shower.
So no, my bath wasn’t entirely relaxing, but I no longer have legs like a male footballer, so it was worth the effort. Anyway, if I was too relaxed, I’d fall asleep, and we know that’s not wise in a tub of water. I’m more of a shower person, I’ll save the baths for the littlies.
My bathtime buddies…
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