The Four of Us

Tags

babies, baby, children, family, love, mother, motherhood, pregnancy

As I was getting Lylah ready for bed this evening, she looked up at me and asked whether or not she could have a little sister.

This didn’t take me hugely by surprise, as she has talked about wanting a little sister before (probably down to the fact that she is constantly harassed by her little brother), so it wasn’t completely out of the blue.

She looked up at me with wide eyes, you could see the hope behind them, watching me beadily and eagerly awaiting my response.

“Go and ask Daddy”, I said, dodging the conversation for a few minutes or so.  Off she ran and a few seconds later I heard the outburst of laughter from Chris; he probably thinks I’ve put her up to this.

I walk into the conversation and he’s explaining to her that we’re not having another baby, and I join in, reminding Lylah that I might have another little boy, so she’d be getting another Malachy, rather than the little sister she dreams of!  She kept on and on and on, and when I said in a more final voice “No sweetheart, we’re not having any more babies, we’re happy with our family”, she burst into tears!

I’m not quite sure where this has come from, but I’m probably to blame, as I’ve knowingly floated the idea past her before, wondering what her response would be.  I’m torn when it comes to this conversation, and it has been brought up on more than one occasion since Malachy came along.

Before we had children, Chris and I talked of having 4.  Boy, girl, boy, girl was our ideal and we picked all the names.  It turns out that we had a girl first, and chose a name we’d never even considered before, but after our first baby, we knew there was no doubt about having number 2.

While I was pregnant with Malachy, I said regularly that this wouldn’t be my last pregnancy.  It felt too natural.  I mostly enjoyed being pregnant, and while both deliveries weren’t without their complications, I also enjoyed the labours.  I felt that Chris was on the same page as well.  We never really spoke about how soon we’d have baby number 3, but I’d imagine it would be pretty quickly.  I think by the end of the pregnancy, we realised that 4 babies might be a stretch too far for us, but number 3 was still in our future thoughts.

My delivery of Malachy was horrible.  That’s another story that I haven’t told yet, and one day I will, but for now, just know that it left me feeling like I was the luckiest woman in the world when I got to hold my new born boy in my arms.  I didn’t want to let him go, and quite literally one of the first things I said to Chris was “We don’t need any more children, he’s perfect, I’m done now.”  I don’t know what it was that made those words come out, but I remember such a feeling of completeness and love having Malachy against my chest, and knowing that we had Lylah at home, that I felt like we didn’t need to add anyone else into the mix.  I also felt such relief at his safe arrival that I immediately thought why would I ever put us through that again?

It probably took until Malachy was around 9 months old before I began to feel the pangs of broodiness.  My maternal instinct was strong with Malachy, and I really enjoyed the baby stage.  I breastfed for a long time, because part of me couldn’t let go, and I hated the thought that I would never do that again.  Chris was different though.  He was happy with our family, and felt strongly that he didn’t want any more children.

I can confidently say that I feel 50/50 about it.  Part of me wants another baby so strongly, I regularly feel huge tugs on my heart when I even begin to imagine the idea, and the other part of me loves my new found freedom when they are both at pre-school and school, and the joy I get from the time I spend on myself now.

I have no doubt that if we were too accidentally fall pregnant that we would embrace it and expand our family, but I know that it would make me anxious in a way that the first two didn’t, perhaps feeling unprepared or fearful that we’d struggle to cope.

So it breaks my heart to to have to say to Lylah “No, mummy and daddy have made the decision not to have any more babies, and you won’t have a little sister”, but I want her to understand how lucky we all are. How lucky that she was the first-born adored little princess into our family with a mummy and daddy who think she is the most wonderful thing on the planet.  How lucky she is to have a little brother like Malachy, who, although he takes her toys and pulls her hair, loves and looks up to her so much.  How lucky that mummy and daddy are to even be able to make a choice about more children; many people don’t even have the option and aren’t blessed with one child, let alone two, and when I think of those people, I’m so grateful every day for my children and pray that those should-be parents get the families they dream of.

I want her to know how lucky we are that we are the four of us.  Picked for each other by a greater good, and how wonderful that is.

Advertisements

Mummy Fitness

Tags

babies, baby, exercise, family, fitness, gym, mother, motherhood, parenting, wellbeing

This post is for every mum who wants to get fitter, lose weight, feel better about themselves, and have some time to themselves.

This morning, I got up with the kids at 7:30am, and by 8:15am I was in the gym, on the treadmill. I did 5km, my weights routine, 10 press-ups and stretched.   I introduce you to a newer version of me, one that likes to go to the gym now.

Before I start, I imagine a good number of you will have already groaned, or had some kind of thought about this being a chance for me to show off about my new hobby.  It is absolutely not.  Believe me, I’m not one of those.  I used to be you, in fact I still am you.  I used to groan if I saw someone post about the gym, scroll past and carry on devouring my chocolate bar.  In reality, I was jealous.  Jealous that someone could find the time, the energy, the money and the willpower to get themselves fitter and healthier.  This post is just a little insight to the start of my journey (uugghh I sound so clichéd), but if it helps to inspire any other mums, or anyone at all, to start on their own fitness journey, then happy days.

I’ll begin by saying I’m nowhere near where I want to be fitness or weight wise, and judging by some of the conversations I hear from very slim, fit looking people, we never will be.  However, I’m on the road to it,  I’m doing it every week, and I’m finally seeing some progress, which makes it all worthwhile.

Having children did things to my body that I’ve had to face and come to terms with over the last 4 years.  Stretchmarks, aching pelvis, fat in places that I never had fat before, more grey hair, mood swings, mummy rage, irritability, tiredness…just a few in a long list of ailments you suddenly encounter.  After Malachy I lost feeling in half of my right leg and toes for a few months post birth, and I could barely walk to begin with, but as with anything, time heals.

That’s point number 1: Allow yourself time.  Having a baby is traumatic for your body so you need to let it rest and recover.  I’ve heard that it takes the length of the pregnancy, post birth, for your body to get back to what is was before, so allow your body that time.  So hitting the gym at 6 weeks post natal isn’t always the best way to get rid of that baby belly.  Take small sensible steps, and eat well.  After Lylah, I didn’t worry about weight.  A lot came off straight away, and I walked everywhere during the summer of my maternity leave, which I think made the world of difference.  After Malachy however, I was more obsessed with it.  I wanted to lose weight quickly, so after the 6 week mark, I started slimming world (I was breast feeding so had to do this carefully so as not to affect my milk supply), and lost 2 stone pretty quickly.  I had stints at the gym between the children, but have never really stuck at it.  I went to the gym and saw a trainer at the same time as starting slimming world, and after 10 minutes on the treadmill, I could barely walk my pelvis was hurting so much.  Not advised!  Take it really easy, and re-introduce exercise into your diet gradually, doing stuff that works with the children.  Go for walks, run round the park, get lots of fresh air and dance around the kitchen.  Eat well and drink lots of water and the weight should fall off.  It won’t happen overnight, but you can exercise more later.  Enjoy the baby cuddles and rest your aching body.

In October last year, I realised that I really needed to get fitter and lose weight.  The weight had crept back on (yep, that 2 stone I lost at slimming world) and I was feeling really rubbish about myself.  My mood swings and temper were starting to get worse as well, and I blame a lot of that on tiredness and a bad diet.

I started back to the gym with a good friend and fellow mummy.  Her baby was only about 4 months old at the time, so she had to take it really easy.  When discussing how often we should go the the gym, we decided to commit to just 1 night a week, at a set time.

This leads me to point number 2: don’t over commit.  You’re a mum, you may or may not be working as well, you’re doing school runs, ballet classes, bath times, bed times, plus you’d quite like to actually see your family occasionally – when are you going to fit in gym sessions?  The chances are that if you start by committing to 4 sessions a week, you’ll fail.  But luckily, exercise is addictive, and it can become a habit fairly quickly.  It was manageable for us to do 1 session week in October.  Last week I did 4 sessions and a ballet class, and I would’ve done more if time allowed.  The key to fitting it all in is organisation. There is time in your day (probably when you’re sat watching TV when the kids are in bed), and if you organise work, childcare etc around your gym slots, and manage to do 1 or 2 a week, then you’re winning.  And believe me, when you want to do more, you’ll make time. Mu husband was off work today, and normally I’d enjoy the lie in and late breakfast, but instead I was on the way to the gym at 8am.

3: Find a workout buddy – things are so much more fun with friends, and this is especially true with exercise.  Our gym sessions are not only a good chance to exercise without the interruption of dirty nappies or a 4-year old wanting her princess dress put on again, but a lovely time for us to catch up, have a chat and clear our minds from the everyday clutter.  Saying that, we quite often talk about the children, but the point is, its our time to talk about whatever we wish.

The other thing I’ve found with keeping up the exercise is to find a little variety.  We always try to do a different exercise, or take advice from others at the gym, to keep our workouts varied.  I’ve also just done 2 sessions of adult ballet, which is amazing.  I came away and my calf muscles were shaking, and it was a completely different workout to my gym sessions.  So, point number 4:  find something that works for you, exercise that you enjoy, and mix it up.  Then you won’t get bored, and your body will feel the benefits of everything you’re trying.

I’ve liked talking to new people about exercise, mainly in the gym, and have taken tips and advice from a few different people about things I’m doing right/wrong.  The main thing I’ve taken away from this is to not worry about feeling stupid or doing something wrong – the important thing is you’re moving your body, and you can work on technique and more advanced exercises as you progress.  These people (Sarah, Mel, random gym man 1 and crazy fit gym man 2) have also made me realise its important to set yourself goals and targets.  Point 4:  try and improve.  Every session, try and do something more than you did last time.  This relates back to my point about variety, you’re trying something new, pushing your body that bit more, and improving your fitness as a result.  My goals for this year are to run 5k or 10k race, and to learn a ballet routine.

5: Motivation and Inspiration.  It is easy to feel inspired by someone or something, less so to get motivated by that same thing.  I’ve found that I get inspiration from lots of different places, my super fit Facebook mummy and non-mummy friends, my gym obsessed buddies, the Khloe Kardashian ‘Strong’ book, my sister doing a boot camp for a month, my little girl working hard in two dance classes every week.  There is so much to be inspired from, but you’ve got to turn it into motivation.  If you are seriously ready to get fitter and healthier, then the only person that can do that is YOU.  You can take help from others, be inspired by others, even say you’re doing it for others (I am doing this not only for me, but for my family), but your key motivation has to be that little voice inside you’re head egging you on, as opposed to keeping you down.

6 months into this new lifestyle, the one thing I’ve learned which is the thing I believe stops most people in their tracks early on, is to manage your expectations.  Point number 6: it won’t happen overnight.  Work hard, stay motivated, allow time to heal and then grow, enjoy it, get inspired and listen to the voice shouting “YOU CAN DO IT” and you’ll get there.  I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.  We all have little slip ups, a week can pass with no gym trips, but don’t let that stop you going for ever,  just get back on the bike.  I feel stronger, I can do things I couldn’t before, my moods have improved drastically and those endorphins feel good.  The best thing is I haven’t had to diet to lose weight.  I eat far more sensibly now because I don’t want to undo the hard work I do at the gym, but I allow myself treats and certainly don’t feel guilty about them anymore.

At soft play last week, I held my 2 1/2 stone son in my arms whilst bounding up a rope bridge without holding on.  I could feel my core working and my legs aching, but I could do it, and I climbed that soft play energetically 3 times, so my kids could go down the slides over and over again.  I can dance round the kitchen with them for 1/2 hour solid, and feel good rather than feel exhausted.  And it’s only going to get better.

Get up off the sofa, get outside, to the gym, to a class or on your bike.  Do it for your future,  do it for your family, but most of all, do it for you.

Our Children and Their Technology

Tags

babies, baby, family, juggle, jugglehood, juggling, juggling act, mother, motherhood, mummy, technology, working mum

I was talking to a man in the pharmacy this week about this exact subject.  Technology, and the fact that it makes the world so fast, and that our kids know nothing else.

I have had children in an age where everything we need is literally at our fingertips.

Music, photographs, groceries, any baby item we may need to purchase, the gym timetable (!), videos, the latest episode of Paw Patrol, or Peppa Pig on loop, all at the touch of a button or two on our phones.

Despite growing up without such luxuries, it is something that as an adult, I have become accustomed to.  I don’t really have to make a lot go effort to access any information I need, and I get frustrated if I can’t get it it quicker than the few seconds of load time my current iPhone operates at.

It goes without saying then, that my children will know no different.  They have only ever known me with a phone in my hand, tapping away sending messages, checking email, watching YouTube videos for some downtime, or checking Facebook.  They don’t know the old version of me, where I actually went to a record shop to purchase music.

Having children in this world has meant that there have been quite a few helpful shortcuts in parenting.  From even before you find out you are pregnant, there is no doubt that many women are on Google, checking when they should be ovulating via a number of online calculators, or checking out the symptoms of early pregnancy, even though I can’t imagine  that there are many of us that don’t already know what these are!  Then the moment arrives, you’re pregnant!  Cue the downloading of one of the many available pregnancy apps, which detail what stage you are at, how you should be feeling, what you should be eating and even what your little fig looks like at 13 weeks.

Then pass months of checking out every twinge you have on every pregnancy page you can find, downloading books, the Mothercare app, and shopping for your forthcoming arrival.

Then the baby arrives, and those little pieces of technology really come into their own.  There were nights where Lylah was screaming and screaming, and we didn’t know what to do.  Do you know what I can remember from those nights?  Chris hunched over a faint blue light on the edge of the bed, frantically Googling what to do with a 2 week old screaming baby who likely has colic.

The Mothercare app was a Godsend.  Lylah fell asleep instantly to the hairdryer noise, and that soon became our go-to solution.  Never mind singing lullabies, rocking her to sleep or anything else; we tapped the screen, let the hair dryer noise come out and watch her drift off to sleep.  I discovered YouTube on our Smart TV and played white noise that way as well, meaning naps in the living room in her chair whilst I was able to do stuff in the rest of the house.  It has come in handy the second time round as well, but with baby number 2 I found an app with an advanced feature.  It switches on as soon as baby cries, and fades out again!  Pure genius!

As Lylah has grown, her access to technology has only increased.  TV watching (no matter how much I said before children that it would be rare occurrence) allows me to get some housework done.  The smart TV means that I can access anything she wants on YouTube at any time.  Sky Plus means box sets and instant downloading.  If Lylah asks for something and I say sorry, it isn’t on at the moment, she says “but Mummy, just load it up!”

This terminology presented itself in normal conversation in the car yesterday.  We were on our way to the shops, and she asked me whether we could play a game (where we pretend we are Anna & Elsa) when we were in the car and going.  I said yes, but asked why we couldn’t play it while we were getting into the car?  She said it’s because the game hadn’t finished “loading up”!

The other day, we were playing a game of musical chairs.  She send she wanted to do the music, which was basically her singing a song.  She said “the music is coming on” and pretended she was holding a mobile phone, tapped the screen and said “bleep”.  My three year old thinks that music comes from a mobile phone!  Which, in her world, it does.

As parents, we can control and monitor our children’s access to technology.  Reading the above back to myself, it sounds like Lylah is constantly on some form of gadget, which actually isn’t the case.  But is she familiar and aware of it?  Yes, of course, because we live in 2016.

Yes, it would be good to slow down.  Yes, it would be great to have more patience and not rely on technology for everything; that’s down to the individual to control.  We need some balance, yes, between the world of everything being ‘right now’ on the other side of our phone screens, to playing outside in nature and forgetting what time it is.

Could I have brought children up without the helping hand of technology?  Well, yes, people did, and I would have had to.

Am I grateful for the white noise app?  YES! Yes  I am.

That Perfect Photograph

Tags

babies, baby, family, juggle, juggling, juggling act, love, moments, mother, motherhood, mummy, negotiation, perfect mum, perfection, photgraphs, photos

I have written before about how social media has turned us into a society of people who are constantly documenting our day to day lives, our most cherished moments, our big announcements & life-changing memories.  We do this mainly through photographs, and use various Apps like Instagram and PicCollage to make sure every detail looks perfect.

Position photo opp, take photo, apply filter, apply hashtag, post, await the likes and comments.

I think we are now more than aware that it can be dangerous to take this too seriously, especially when viewing others lives through their Facebook feed, and more often than not through a rose-tinted (or in the case of my Instagram shots, a Valencia filtered) lens.

This trend is especially true of those with little ones.  Cue lots of photos of kids with animals, children on days out, little angels grouped together on play dates, mummies & babies lunching.  Not a snotty nose, grubby face or crying meltdown in sight.  I am especially guilty of this, I am not writing a preachy post here, I hold my hands up and admit that when I look at photos I’ve posted of my two children, I get a little tingle of pride, and those photos represent great times and memories, and do a great job of erasing any bad moments we may have had on those particular occasions!

It used to bother me if Lylah wasn’t smiling perfectly at the camera, but now I’m used to having a temperamental three year old, it is something I’ve had to let go of.  No more true than on Malachy’s Baptism Day, in the church, when all I wanted was ONE photo of us as a family, just Chris & I with our two babies.  Lylah’s face says it all in the photo that I have proudly framed in my living room.  I look at it now and chuckle, and still laugh about my nan plying her with sweets trying to get her to smile and stop wriggling to get down for one minute!

What I’ve started to see a little more of recently, is people posting more realistic photographs of their little ones.  I’ve seen more crying in photos, more grumpy faces, and less of the “I will stand here as mummy told me to” type photograph.  And it’s so refreshing to see!

Let’s take each occasion I mentioned above.  In every one of these scenarios, as any one with children/or has hung out with children knows, there is often only one or two “perfect” moments!

Kids with animals = meltdown because they are scared of something and won’t go close enough to get into photo frame.

Children on Days out = many moments of screaming, tiredness, boredom…do I go on?

Little Angels grouped together on play dates = if you get this shot then you’re a miracle worker!

Mummies & Babies lunching = no sign of the food on the floor, the struggle of squeezing them into the unfamiliar highchair or the overpriced cake that has gone to waste!

Chris has been off this week, so we have and a few family outings and a little party at home for St Patrick’s Day.  Cue lots of opportunities for cute photos as perfect mementos of our time spent together.

I’ve posted some beautiful photos on Facebook this week of my family, but what I haven’t posted are some of the classics on my camera roll, or documented the happenings around each shot!

First, there was our day out at an animal sanctuary, which overall Lylah loved.  Lots of cute photos of Lylah looking angelic, but not one of her screaming whilst being chased by oversized Bantum Chickens!  Or moaning for about 27 minutes because she was cold and she wanted to go home and watch Kinder Surprise on YouTube (don’t ask).

Then there was our day trip to the woods.  There is a wooden carved chair at our destination that people often post photos of their children sitting on.  I wanted this photo!  Have a look at the camera roll evidence of Lylah’s progression into a meltdown.  And the smile on my face moving slowly to a grimace!  I also just about managed to save Malachy from being wheeled down the hill and off the edge.

 

Then there was St Patrick’s Day morning.  I wanted a nice picture of the two of them in their green outfits, sat on a flag.  Standard.  These were just a few of what we had before I was happy!

 

 

The one where Lylah was squeezing Malachy in a head lock shortly led to him toppling backwards when she let go quickly, followed by 5 minutes of crying and snot and a puffy red face.

So, you can see, not all of life’s moments are filled with picture perfect memories, but they are memories all the same and make us what we are.  It is okay to show people these, it might even make them feel a little more normal about their own lives.

We are going to Peppa Pig World tomorrow, and I promise that as soon as Lylah has any sort of meltdown I will photograph every moment of it, along with the bright backdrop of Peppa and George’s house and Mr Potato’s city, or whatever it is we are in store for!

All of that photo stress is so worth it though, when I get to capture my two looking like this…

P.S.  I often find that bribing children with Kinder Surprises helps capture that perfect “smile”

 

They need me…

Tags

babies, baby, family, jugglehood, juggling, juggling act, love, mother, motherhood, mummy, need, working mum

As a mother, your children, naturally, need you a lot.

They need you from the minute they wake up, until the minute their lights goes out, for a variety of reasons.

With Lylah these include; pulling up bottoms after a wee wee, cue “mummy, this is the hard bit!!”, making her breakfast (even though Miss Independent does get it all out and ready for me these days, she still hasn’t quite stretched to putting it all together, she is only 3 after all!), dressing her, plaiting her hair, helping her put Anna and Elsa’s dresses back on, (then off again, then on again), doing her puzzles, finding the lost parts of Sylvanian Families (they are soooo small!), writing letters, writing numbers, more post-toilet help…it goes on and on and on.

This all runs alongside Malachy also needing me, but needing me far more than Lylah does.  From the minute he wakes up, he needs me for comfort, for milk, for basic hygiene, for breakfast, for playing, for moving…he’s a baby, you get it!

Often, all this neediness can get on top of you.  Even though you know this motherhood lark is going to be demanding, you never quite realise it for real until its happening to you.  And then you get a small segment of your day, where they are maybe both napping at the same time, and there is a fifteen minute period, where no one needs you for a moment.  That moment goes far too quickly, though the rest of the day, somehow does not!

This all happens without thought.  You don’t stop and think about your every action being crucial to your children’s happiness, development, health.  You just do it, because, well, that’s what you signed up for.

Then there are times when they really need you.  And this happened to me yesterday.  It made me stop and think.

Malachy was feeling poorly, and had woken yesterday with a temperature, and after his afternoon nap, he was burning up again.  After Calpol, and whilst I was waiting for it to kick in and cool him down, he just wasn’t a happy bunny.  Nothing I did made him happier, and you realise, that although they really really need you, you don’t actually know what it is they need.  After a long snuggly feed, he eventually rested his head against me, and I began to stroke his cheek until he fell asleep.  After some tossing and turning to get into the exact right position for his maximum comfort, he finally fell into a deep sleep on me.  Meanwhile, at the other end of the same sofa, I noticed that Lylah’s head was dropping up and down.  Monster’s University just wasn’t entertaining enough, and the little lady was nodding off as well.  I got her comfy as best I could with Mally lying on top of me, and they both slept like that for the next hour or so.

There wasn’t much I could do.  I debated putting him back in his cot.  But this was a different sleep.  This was a sleep that was relaxed and comforted because he had fallen asleep on mummy.  He was warm from my body and full from the warm milk he had just guzzled.  I had made him feel better from whatever he was feeling a moment before.  No, I thought, this sleep is for us.  He wants to be comforted and to lie on mummy and cuddle in close.  Lylah was comfortable and lying against my legs.  I felt like I could burst with happiness, and was overwhelmed with a feeling of love.  They both NEEDED me.  Not in the usual, every day ways, but in their moment of tired, exhausted, poorlyness, I was needed to be a mummy, someone they could snuggle into to everything better.

It is the most beautiful feeling in the world being needed.

How things are different with number 2…

Tags

babies, baby, juggle, jugglehood, mother, motherhood, second baby

Things with a second baby are so different than with your first.  Might sound like an obvious statement, but one month in, and it is is strikingly obvious to me when I look back over the first four weeks of Malachy’s life and realise how we have done things so differently this time around.  This is partly led by Malachy, as by nature he is a different baby to what Lylah was in so many ways, but also partly by us, because as parents we have approached the newborn days with a different attitude.

It’s still a world of unknowns…even though you do go into it with a certain air of cockiness and an ‘I know it all attitude’, a second baby will present many differences to the first.  For example, unlike with Lylah, the breast feeding is going really well this time, and has done from day one.  So I thought I’d got away with it scott free; he’s putting on weight, feeding well, etc etc.  But no, he has developed oral thrush, something new and unknown and which has already had an impact on his feeds.

These are a few things I’ve noticed that we’ve done differently with baby round two:

Google.  We hardly use it!  With Lylah, I recall us being up at all hours in our bedroom, the only light coming from Chris’ iPhone as he frantically Googled how to get this wind out of our little girl!  We Googled everything, from breast feeding (I saved every page I could find on breast milk storage), colic, methods to relieve colic, ‘why is our baby crying’, ‘why is our baby still crying’, and the old favourite, ‘how to stop my our baby crying’.

Going out.  I didn’t properly leave the house for some time after Lylah was born.  I was happy to stay in, dressed in PJs, feeding on the sofa and perhaps freshening up for the occasional visitor.  This time, I was taking Lylah to pre-school, baby in tow, by the end of week two, and had ventured out lots before this with Chris’ help.  A month in and we are out and about most days, Malachy just being dragged along for the ride of our pre-existing toddler routine.

Soothing.  Uh Oh, the baby’s crying!  What, you mean your second baby, who you can’t actually get to because the toddler is having another meltdown whilst hanging from her swing set?  Oh, the baby has stopped crying already and settled himself?  That’s good then!  As soon as Lylah made a sound when she was a baby, one or both of us would be there in a flash.  No such luck for Malachy, he gets to soothe himself while Mummy is pulling her hair out over number one.  This isn’t to say we don’t ever comfort him (I can imagine you’re thinking this poor child is left to fend for himself!), it’s just that it might take a little longer to get to him than it did the first time round!

Cuddles.  On the other hand, Malachy does get a lot of cuddles.  When Lylah is tucked up in bed, and we can spend some one on one time with the little man, we cuddle him, a lot!  We would never have dared done this with Lylah.  When she was settled that was it, we didn’t dare touch her for fear of her never sleeping again!

Bathing.  Washing Lylah as a baby was two person job, filled with the dread that we were going to accidentally scold her/drown her/drop her.  It was a long time before I bathed her confidently on my own.  With Malachy, I can easily bathe him in his baby bath, while Chris is bathing Lylah in the tub, simultaneously chatting away to them, with no fear about whether I’m going to accidentally dunk the baby.

Photos.  We haven’t taken as many photos or videos or Malachy as we did Lylah.  Everyone says this happens, but I didn’t think it would apply to me.  It will save the computer memory.  Please note; I have still taken A LOT!

Socialising.  I would NEVER have taken Lylah out to a restaurant/party/meal, somewhere public, at one month old.  But last night we took our two year old and baby to a birthday meal, in a restaurant with actual people, whilst attempting to have adult conversation and a hot meal.  It was pretty much a success, and just made us realise even more, that number two just takes it in their stride, and slots in to family life.

So, as Malachy continues to settle into our lives, we realise how blessed we are to have such a relaxed little boy, who seems to be becoming as much of a social butterfly as his sister!

In Malachy news, he weighs a whopping 1 stone.  Yep, we’ve started wearing his 3-6 month clothes today, and now he actually looks comfortable!

In Lylah news, today she corrected me and then asked “understand?”  She also told me I was bossy this week.  Our conversations are getting funnier and she is getting cheekier!  We also went bowling, but it was too busy so we ended up just playing in the arcade.  Now Lylah thinks that going bowling is mummy and daddy frantically trying to win her a Sven cuddly from the grabber machine.

Lylah is currently staring at me repeating ‘mum’ ‘mama’ and ‘mummy’ over and over again and the baby has just started crying.  Time for me to go!

No Tea For Me…Thanks to Malachy!

Tags

babies, baby, biscuits, jugglehood, juggling, motherhood, tea, teapot, teatime

Oh Malachy, Malachy, Malachy
I’m in desperate need of a cup of tea
Preferably hot, and straight from the pot,
The perfect tea moment for tired old me.

But every time that kettle boils
My tea time plan you are ready to spoil
Your little lips they start to shake
As your little tummy starts to ache

Your achy tummy tells you its time,
along with the teapot giving you the sign,
That its time for you to have your grub
And my pot of hot tea I have to snub.

The sound of the water starting to rumble
Must make your belly start to grumble,
and prompt your regular milky fix
No time for my tea or a teatime Twix.

The sight of the cosy keeping it hot,
Means that you are allowed, but I am not,
To settle down for an afternoon snack
And signals the caffeine that I now lack.

The clink of the cup against the saucer
Means that really I know I ought to,
Put down my drink and prepare to feed
After all, its just tea, am I really in need?

On the odd occasion when I get the tea poured,
And biscuits are retrieved from the cupboard
I settle down on the sofa ready to drink,
Well then what happens, what do you think?

I’ve just delighted in the first biscuity dunk,
The gingery snap soaked as it’s being sunk,
Into the deep tea flavoured pool
The moment that awaits me is making me drool.

Just as the biscuit starts falling apart,
(This dunking lark is really an art)
I’d better eat quick, as a familiar sound,
Starts to fill the room all around.

You’re soft little cry starts nice and quiet,
Just time to continue with my ‘biscuit tea’ diet.
But the volume increases, and as the cry becomes shrill,
I’ll forget my tea, its not a big deal…

Because I’d rather cuddle you close to me
Than drink a cup of hot, tasty tea.
But how about we make a deal?
I can have one after your milky meal?

Supermarkets require Supermums!

Tags

babies, baby, jugglehood, juggling, motherhood, shopping, supermarket

I did it!

I set myself one challenge today alongside generally keeping myself and my two children clean, fed and watered.  To go to the supermarket and buy ingredients for a Sunday roast tomorrow.

And I did it!

I could end this post there, as I am so flipping happy with myself, but I won’t, because the first outing with my two little people to our local Lidl and Sainsburys was pretty eventful.

I was pretty sure, as I arrived back home, with the newly acquired shopping haul and still with the two children (thank goodness – leaving one in the meat aisle would have been a bad first trip), that it wasn’t at all stressful and I was feeling pretty good about myself.  Then as I snapped at Lylah for the fifth time over lunch at my nans, I realised that actually it may have taken a little toll.

Today started well, and I managed to shower, de-fuzz, dress, and actually put on some make up, all whilst Lylah played and Malachy stared at me, waving his arms about from his vibrating chair (best baby thing EVER).

So I confidently left the house, two children strapped into their car seats, all the necessary transport adaptors on hand, and minimal baggage in tow.  I was praying we would have no wee or poo incidents from Lylah on our outing, nor an explosive nappy from Malachy whilst strapped into the Lidl trolley.

I was maybe being a bit ambitious doing both Lidl and Sainsburys, but one was for food, and one was for the 25% off clothing sale, not to be missed when you have an ever growing toddler!

Lidl first.  The initial thing that came to my attention is just how much I need the mother and baby parking spaces now more than ever.  Having Lylah off a leash makes my stomach leap every time she walks further than an inch away from me, and I really need to be close to the trolley park if I’m carrying my handbag, the car seat and child, as well as guiding a toddler away from moving vehicles.

I couldn’t see a spare space to start with, then I spotted two older looking people getting out of their car in what I thought was the last spare space.  I was about ready to wind the windows down and unleash my fury, until a child popped out of their car.  She was a big child though, and they probably didn’t need to park there as I’m pretty confident she could’ve walked the extra few feet alongside two fully grown adults.  Luckily for them, I spotted the empty space next to them, so proceeded to park up and chill out.

Once Malachy was strapped onto the trolley, which by the way are the biggest trolleys there due to the fact they need to accommodate babies in car seats atop them, we set out on our journey through the aisles of Lidl.  Lylah was being good and staying by my side, but one downside to not having her strapped in somewhere is that she takes great pleasure in throwing whatever she fancies into the trolley!  So I spent half the excursion taking things out of the trolley!  My first main obstacle was that I kept banging into people, especially old, slow people on my travels.  I was trying to keep it swift because there are no toilets in Lidl, and this can be disastrous with a not long potty trained 2 year old.  But the constant manoeuvring and reversing meant that everything was taking a lot longer than intended.

We made it to the checkout with a full trolley, but as I was starting to pack things away, Lylah announced she needed a wee wee.  The panic in my voice came out in a shriek like tone which said “you need to hold it sweetheart, just squeeeeeze really tight, squeeeeeeeze it, and we’ll go when we get to the car”.  I momentarily panicked that I hadn’t packed the Potette, but thankfully I remember seeing it in the boot.  There were always drains I suppose, would just have to hover her over one of those if not!  As I packed the remaining items and frantically paid, I kept glancing down at the floor beneath Lylah, each time imagining a pool of wee, soaked little pink leggings and white shoes covered in yellowy liquid.  There was time when I brought the actual potty into actual Lidl, in the actual trolley, in case of times like these.  Have I become too confident in my child, who does tend to ‘p*ss like a racehorse’?!

Bless her heart, she held it all the way to the car, and without even the slightest of leaks, waited patiently until I had put the stupid flipping Pottete liner in the stupid flipping Potette (sorry, although it has saved me on many an occasion, anyone that has tried to use one will understand me), then sat astride it on the pavement and did her thing.  Phew.

Once the car was packed up with shopping and kids, I turned to take the trolley and liner full of wee wee to the trolley park and bin.  Only to be greeted by a lady (whom I’d not met before), who proceeded to tell me about her recent travels to Spain.  I don’t mind talking to strangers in Lidl car park about their holidays, in fact, its something we don’t do enough as a society, and this lovely lady obviously felt like she could talk to me just from the look of my backside bent over the boot of my Golf, but when you have two children in the car, one probably due another wee at any second, and one a three week old newborn who constantly pukes out of his nose, its hard to not need to hurry things along a little.  After a good five minutes, she went on her way, and I managed to get the trolley back, the wee bag dumped and get on our way to supermarket number 2 for some clothes shopping.

As we got out of the car in Sainsburys, I noticed the same lady strolling towards the main entrance, so I subtly hovered back in order to keep things swift before she started telling me about her next Mediterranean adventure.

This time, as there was no big shop to do, I opted to pop the car seat on top of the pushchair chassis, which meant I could at a least see where I was going, and Lylah again walked.  I forgot though that Sainsburys is a little more interesting to a child’s eyes than Lidl, and once we were in the children’s clothing section, do you think I could prize her away from the Frozen hair clips and Sofia the First tiara selection?  After a few “but I neeeeeeed it” moments from Madam Boyd, I persuaded her to leave with some half price hair clips and a sun hat in tow.

Then as we left the cosmetics aisle, Lylah insisted, at the top of her voice, that she push Malachy and not me.  When I tried to assist her in the steering, she went into mini meltdown mode, and I had to assure her that I was simply “helping you push him the right way” whilst actually pushing and steering with one hand so she believed she was doing it.  I should’ve gone straight to the nearby checkout right then and there, but my favourite raspberry cheesecake was calling me from the chilled bit by the bakery at the far end of the store, so we had Lylah ‘pushing’ Malachy for quite some time, just so I could get my cheesecake fix.

We were served by the lovely Sue, and Lylah was her usual friendly self whilst sat on top of the checkout, showing off her hat and baby brother.  Its moments like this that make the stress of these things all worthwhile.  You would never know from her cheeky little grin that just moments earlier she was emptying her bladder in Lidl car park.

We bundled into the car and I was hugely pleased that it was all over.  Lots of money, a panicked wee wee, a nice conversation with a stranger and a lot of struggling with heavy things later, and we were done.

Next time I’ll do it when Lylah is at pre-school.

Welcoming Baby Malachy to Jugglehood

Tags

babies, baby, family, jugglehood, motherhood, new baby, tantrums, toddlers

There are moments of peace and quiet, the baby settled and Lylah enjoying playing with something for more than 20 seconds.

There are moments where the screaming from both of them is so loud I literally don’t know who to deal with first.

There are moments full of love and overwhelming happiness, where my little family is all together, cuddling on the bed, giggling and playing, and most importantly, not crying.

There are moments when everything is so chaotic that pulling my hair out seems like the only reasonable option.

This is day 6 after Chris going back to work, although today doesn’t count, as he has a day off.  But days 1-5 have been…interesting.

I should firstly officially give my baby boy a Jugglehood announcement.  Baby Malachy Christopher Boyd arrived with us on 30th April 2015, at 12:14am.  He is absolutely wonderful, and if you’d asked me in the first 2 weeks (funnily enough while Chris was still at home with us), then everything was going swimmingly, and I was finding the whole experience of 2 children surprisingly calm.

I have been feeling great, he is feeding really well and gaining weight, he is sleeping between feeds with very little fuss and Lylah responded really well to our new addition and adores her “baby brudder”.  Then Chris went back to work…

To start with, things were going well.  I’ve basically worked out that as long as one is a) asleep or b) occupied for more than 5 minutes, then I can deal with the other one.  It’s the needing me both at the same time scenario that I’m not quite sure how to deal with!  It can’t be that hard, I know a lot of people with 2 or more babies, and they all make it look so easy!

I can deal with the night feeds, I can deal with the tiredness, I can cope with the 2-3 hour feeds, I can even cope with the reality that with baby number 2, there is no going back to bed after their early morning feed while they sleep on, because of a certain two year old shouting for their Weetabix!  But I am struggling to manage the double screaming episodes.  The tantrumming toddler (who has become so defiant since daddy’s return to work that I feel stupid for thinking that she had adapted to the whole scenario like a dream) VS the new addition (who is so cute and cuddly that it surprises  me when he screams so loud and shrill that it hurts my ears).

The first episode occurred on day 1 of daddy’s return to work.  Lylah needed a bath, but I didn’t have the time to give her the whole bath time fun we normally have, so we opted for a quick shower while Malachy was settled in his chair watching the fun.  She went in okay, but then the showering fun turned quickly into the mother of all tantrums when she refused to have her hair washed.  Amidst this tantrum consisting of throwing herself around the slippery shower tray and crying so hard she was starting to cough and choke, the baby started to scream.  Just out of the blue, no real justifiable reason that I could see or think of, just screaming.  This made me panic beyond reason, as my instinct was to go to him and calm him down.  But then I had the realisation that if I did this I would be doing a couple of things.  1) Lylah would probably slip and injure herself and 2) I would be going straight to him when Lylah was clearly in need of the attention.  Agree or not with giving your attention to a tantrumming toddler, but in the time when a new sibling has been introduced to the environment they are used to, I have felt that ignoring her tantrums may have a longer lasting negative effect.

Anyway, I had to leave Malachy to cry, which was hard, but he was strapped into his chair and I could see that he was safe, and I managed to calm Lylah down.  The miracle was that as I was sorting Lylah out, Malachy just stopped crying and fell back to sleep!  And then it was all fine and calm again.

These daily blips are, I suppose, only to be expected, but they have increased my stress levels and I’ve noticed that in 5 days, my grey hair count has gone up.

But with time, this will be a breeze.  2 children?  Easy…she says!

Welcome to Jugglehood, Malachy Boyd.  I’ve got a feeling this is going to be fun!

Driving Me Potty

Tags

babies, baby, jugglehood, juggling, motherhood, mummy, potty training

Yesterday marked one week of full time potty training for us.  Lylah is 2 and 3 months (nearly), and we felt like she was more than ready.  My nan has always told me that most kids are ready around the age of 2 and 3 months, which is very specific, but seemed to be right in our case.

We probably could have started a little while back, but when you’re a working mummy, juggling a toddler, a job, pregnancy and twenty million other things, with your child being transported all over the place for various childcare, there isn’t enough consistency in their daily routines to get it done properly.

In my opinion, there is no right age, or right way to toilet/potty train.  The strongest sign for me was that Lylah started to tell us, not all the time, but she did enjoy the occasional sit on the loo, so we didn’t want to miss the wee wee boat.

I’ve got some friends who started this process months ago, and some who haven’t started yet, some who went straight to loo, and some who didn’t.  The truth is, that you HAVE to not only work out what’s best for your child’s life, but also for yours.  For me, I wanted the ‘training’ experience for Lylah to be one on one with me, taking her through the process, and doing it in a short time.  In order to do this, Lylah needed to be able to communicate effectively for the task, be able to follow simple instructions, and do little things like pull down her own pants and trousers.

I’m not a follower nor a fan of Gina Ford usually, but her book, potty training in one week, makes a lot of good points.  I followed it pretty much to the tee, and (I think) I can safely say, that after one week, Lylah is pretty much there.  Yes, she will have accidents, like two days ago when she hid inside her wardrobe and wee’d on her shoes, and there will be times when she just doesn’t make it in time, but on the whole, she’s telling me when she needs it, and against Gina’s advice, we’ve even ventured out a bit this week, and Lylah has been fine and kept up the good work.

Poos are a little more difficult, and it’s hilarious how your child finally sitting down and producing one outside of a nappy can make you feel immensely proud.  It’s also brilliant how talking about weeing and pooing all the time makes you slightly obsessed about the subject.  Our group of mummy friends are sharing pictures and stories of our potty training progress, a true, stick together approach to the task!

The first morning was a complete disaster.  I was keeping a log (tee hee) of Lylah’s movements, and after her first accident, Chris completed the log with the line “complete failure in the lounge as Lylah wee’d all over the sofa” (on towels might I add, I’m not that stupid).  I was so disheartened by three accidents in a row plus a poo in her brand new sparkly pants, that I rang my mum and told her I didn’t think Lylah was ready.  I was taking her to to the toilet every half an hour, which Lylah hated.  My mum made the good point that training her should be about her telling me when she needs to go, and she needs to have accidents to realise this.  So I chilled out a bit, and by tea time, she was telling me.  After 2 days we had 3 days straight where she was completely dry, including an afternoon at my mums.  We’ve had the odd accident since, it’s only been a week after all, and I’m sure there are many to come, but I’m incredibly proud of our little girl.

I was petrified to start this process, the whole thing seemed completely mind baffling not to say stressful, but now we’re past the starting post, I am confident that my little girl has turned a corner and is going strong.  My best piece of advice is to listen to your child, watch for when they’re ready, and don’t be disheartened if they’re not.  It’s not a race, let them lead you and let nature take its course.